Tokyo Day 3 – Dinosaurs vs Robots Theatre Restaurant.

I had conflicting emotions about this place.

On the one hand it objectified these young women, there was no doubt about it. Look for videos on You Tube for the full catastrophe. Some of the girls looked dead inside, but some of them were genuinely smiling or great actors. Half of the girls were heavily tattooed which isn’t allegedly as acceptable in Japan so these kids were tough nuts.

There was no nudity  but all the bodies were young, nubile, and displayed to their best advantage. There were no spunky young men. My militant raging feminist me was having a banquet of indignation. I realise that last sentence makes no sense but I have been reading Dan Brown,  so reinventing the laws of written English is now acceptable.

On the other hand it was fun, despite this because at the end there was a DINOSAUR VS ROBOTS WAR. Which brought out my inner nerd and made me cheer like I might have been interested in a sport team, from what I hear. So there was that.

The food was rubbish, we managed to get quite pissed for such a small amount of booze, I think the drinks were lethal, so on the way home we did another one of the many amazing coolest things ever that Tokyo has to offer, and that is to get some food by using a vending/ordering machine out the front of the noodle den  and then going inside to be served 2nd dinner (and more beer).

So here are a SMALL selection of the photos I took that night. Sadly they are in reverser order so bottom up (no pun intended)

This bit was incredibly surreal.

Giant ginger robots. For scale check the kids next to them on the right.

I sat here, with my box of crap food and my weirdly uber alcoholic Asahi pre mixed green cordial, wondering if my brain would start seeping from my ears with too much excitement.

If a person wasn’t completely hysterical by the end of stairs then this should tip them over the edge.

Because of COURSE there are images of women on the stairs for us to walk on. Top woman not a woman, top woman giant robot.

Butterflies. Theatre restaurant. Why?

Going down the stairs to the restaurant. It was like this all the way down. Weird mixtures of wildlife motifs and scantily clad women.

The foyer of the Robots vs Dinosaurs Restaurant. We self medicated. Quite quickly, lest we overstimulate ourselves.

Tokyo Day 3 – sadly less crazy photos.

Love hotel. Pop in, get freaky, go shopping. Conveniently next to Shibuya.

Scarlett’s Park (the one she could see from her room) from OUR room, looking to Harajuku and Shibuya. I would never tire of this view.

ahahahahaha *snort* this is on a plaque at the front of a love hotel.

Silent Siren. Say it with me.

I bought this fabric in Japan. It is so awesome I am still too scared to cut into it a month later.

This used to be sold in Australia. Probably not anymore because it reminds any sane person of an orange vagina. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

Large tower that reminded us of Berlin. I took numerous photos of Adam planking on the wall in front of it. Unfortunately they were not on this particular memory card.

A rather large temple, they like to stand in the smoke, its in some way holy. I was in some way suffocating.

Japan Day 2, Nutso Potato – Start from BOTTOM please

The Pungency. Sounds like the name of an angry band. Kirin tea sold in vending machines was just so good and sweet and nectarlike it made me sad to come home.

30 year old metalhead bartender. Was playing some Japanese punk, we plugged in my phone and introduced her to QOTSA. 4 stools at the bar. Sake IMO is a bit yuck. One of the best bits of Tokyo.

Drunk old woman that grabbed us in Piss Alley and dragged us into the bar. Obviously she gets a cut, we also just knew we had to buy her a drink. So 2 rounds of drinks for Adam, myself, funny lady here and the bartender. $100. It was a rort but so much fun.

In a window of a bar in Piss Alley

Piss Alley, an area of Shinjuku with tiny tiny bars underneath homes. Its seedy, dodgy and almost empty on a Sunday night. FABULOUS!

Crap photo of a giant crab about 8 stories up. Allegedly a crab restaurant thanks Instagram.

Are they strippers? I dont know.

Sunday night walking around Shinjuku. ITS SO BUSY! Why arent they home watching GoT or 60 Minutes? They all must eat out all the time. Its wonderful.

The view from our room

ahahahaha no coherent commentary

I DONT KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING!

What is it? Why is it so high in the air? Why is it angry?

This made me hysterical. I wish could read Japanese. I think this is the love child of Monkey Magic and Pigsy.

Really shitty photo of the busiest pedestrian intersection in the world, I ended up standing on top that garden dead ahead to watch it over and over and had to be dragged away. Shibuya. 2nd coolest suburb in the world.

We really said to ourselves “do their mothers really let them go out like that?” sadly the only cosplay kids we saw in Japan hanging out in a group. We saw some random little bo peep action which was kinda cool but they were in transit so not posing for photos.

Heh.

COMME des FUCKDOWN * . “An asshole says, what?” Wayne : Waynes World.

Poodle shoes. POODLE SHOES.

Confusing on many levels, yet pleasing.

I can fully embrace this! A dog outfit shop. Only dog outfits and couches and beds. Yay for Japan.

This is a GARMENT. That they want you to WEAR on your BODY. No.

Lithium for you.

Huh?

Dude. No.

Obviously. Cute sign.

Is this a boy band? Why are there so many men snuggled up to each other? Is it the Midnight Shift? I dont get it!

I spy my very first Marimekko store down an alley in Harajuku behind a very impressive Ralph Lauren building. I got excited. Actually very nearly hysterical.

One of about half a dozen photos of Blythe displays for my Blythe lovin friends. I can see the appeal. This was in the 5 story toy store Kiddyland.

Entrance to a department store in Harajuku. Amazing.

You could drink by the glass, or obviously you could do the job properly.

One of the most evolved countries in the world and they still use 1000 year old brooms. I love this.

Japan Day 1 – Best and craziest

Awesome thing about Japan 101 – high tech toilets, sitting on a warm toilet seat gives you quite a fright. Everyone knew about the toilets except me.

What an appalling photo, I was going to go back and buy this but didn’t. Now I have the sads.

This man was attempting to appear alluring in the cherry blossoms in a non ironic way. He deserves to be mocked. This lady has a very pink bottom.

It was like having a 2 year old.

Nappies – my favourite Merries but there were also Moonies. I am not lying.

We don’t do enough golfing wear in Australia. I love a plaid pant pulled tightly across the buttocks.

No Knead Bread for April

Recipe: No-Knead Bread

Adapted from Jim Lahey, Sullivan Street Bakery

On New York Times Website - click for linkage

Time: About 1½ hours plus 14 to 20 hours’ rising

3 cups all-purpose or bread flour, more for dusting
¼ teaspoon instant yeast
1¼ teaspoons salt
Cornmeal or wheat bran as needed.

1. In a large bowl combine flour, yeast and salt. Add 1 5/8 cups water, and stir until blended; dough will be shaggy and sticky. Cover bowl with plastic wrap. Let dough rest at least 12 hours, preferably about 18, at warm room temperature, about 70 degrees.

2. Dough is ready when its surface is dotted with bubbles. Lightly flour a work surface and place dough on it; sprinkle it with a little more flour and fold it over on itself once or twice. Cover loosely with plastic wrap and let rest about 15 minutes.

3. Using just enough flour to keep dough from sticking to work surface or to your fingers, gently and quickly shape dough into a ball. Generously coat a cotton towel (not terry cloth) with flour, wheat bran or cornmeal; put dough seam side down on towel and dust with more flour, bran or cornmeal. Cover with another cotton towel and let rise for about 2 hours. When it is ready, dough will be more than double in size and will not readily spring back when poked with a finger.

4. At least a half-hour before dough is ready, heat oven to 450 degrees. Put a 6- to 8-quart heavy covered pot (cast iron, enamel, Pyrex or ceramic) in oven as it heats. When dough is ready, carefully remove pot from oven. Slide your hand under towel and turn dough over into pot, seam side up; it may look like a mess, but that is O.K. Shake pan once or twice if dough is unevenly distributed; it will straighten out as it bakes. Cover with lid and bake 30 minutes, then remove lid and bake another 15 to 30 minutes, until loaf is beautifully browned. Cool on a rack.

Yield: One 1½-pound loaf.

Cheese and Bacon Sourdough Rolls – EASY PEASY

My lovely friend Kim at Allconsuming inspired me to do this, click on her link to do her version which frankly looks exactly like the bakery stuff, and makes me come over all Garth and Wayne in the not worthiness. Vanessa has shown some sort of vague interest in making the cheese and bacon rolls, so if she doesn’t try this I won’t be her friend any more, because I am doing this mainly for her.

I have done a variation which may be one of biggest surprise success stories in my whole entire life.

I took the New York Times No Knead Bread recipe from eleventy billion years ago (but I only found out about it this month).

The recipe is for 3 cups of plain flour, 1/4 teaspoon of yeast and 1 1/4 teaspoons of salt plus a cup and a half and a tiny extra bit of warm water. Mix it together, with a knife because it feels cool. A katana if a knife is not available. I let it prove for a really long time, 18 – 20 hours. Also I put it in a plastic lidded container, I am really not so great with the cling wrap.

Then I sort of gloop it on to a floured surface and sprinkle shredded or cubed ham from the deli section and a giant cup of grated cheddar and fold it in on itself maybe half a dozen times and gloop it back into the plasso container. It will be very messy with bits of bacon and cheese poking out and looking a bit like vomit. And then put it back in a warm place for a couple of hours. Don’t worry about wrapping it in an organic macrame’d tea towel. That’s fine for the big loaf, but too much of a hassle for the dozen little vomit loaves.

The resultant mix, when glooped back out of the plastic container is sort of like alien guts. You will know what I mean when you see it, stretchy and stringy and sort of gross. Photos to follow.

Now for the baking, I would not recommend using the hands to separate it into 12 bits simply because its like a tar baby. My friend Kristina said she chops it with a knife so I have found that to be much easier. But slightly less fun.

Then the 12 bits go into large muffin tins, either floured or sprayed with oil and then another big chunk of grated cheese goes on top. 20 minutes in a 200 or so degree oven with foil on and then foil off for maybe 15 minutes until its golden and looks like a muffin.

Divine. Bogan proof. Satisfying like a little meal. And unfortunately for us that really shouldn’t be eating carbs, quite more-ish.